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Chances are that you hear the voice of your spirit (conscience) criticising your intention to request a treatment which will enable you to have the pleasures that your body is designed
to give you. And thus you are paralyse because that voice is telling you that this Tantra massage, which includes the Yoni massage, is treasonous when thinking of your husband or a situation contrary
to your modesty.
Well, I suggest that you talk to this internal voice of yours as if it comes from a distinct presence in your body and ask it to explain its position in the matter. It is possible that the voice tells
you to think about what your mother would tell you about the intention that you have. Well answer to the voice and make it understand what you wish to have.
My guess is that your spirit, and you should understand that you may know it as your conscience, talks to you as the mirror of values known to be those of your family, your religion, your culture and is
trying to make you understand that you intend to derogate from the norms practice in our society.
Is that really what you want, to be in conformity with social norms ? But don't you have the right as a human being to exercise free will and to give priority to your own values and not those of others ?
Well, this is an important moment in your human life...